On Hold

by Heidi on March 31, 2010

I got an email today.

Dear Substitute Applicants,

If you are interesting in subsituting for Stamford Public Schools please give {redacted} a call at (203) xxx-xxxx.

I applied to almost every school district in the area for a substituting job back in December/January. I was told they were turning them away because they had too many. I put my dreams of teaching on hold, for a variety of reasons, not including the daunting process of becoming certified. Then I applied to my current job. I was hired and the rest is history. With my new job, one that fosters growth, it is, quite simply, everything I could have hoped for and more. And yet I feel bad.

I feel bad because for so long I was certain that teaching was what I wanted. And it’s not that I gave up. It’s something I intend on pursuing in the future but for now? I’m kind of happy where I am. For once, I feel like I’m in a company that fosters growth, that encourages goal setting and accomplishing said goals.

I feel valued, a part of a team. I’m encouraged to go after what I’m passionate about – for me, right now it’s social media and well, I’m kind of stoked about that. All of it.

So for now, I’m going to, essentially, keep calm and carry on. I’m happy where I am. Doing what I’m doing and I just need to be. I don’t want any changes, and after reevaluating everything, I just don’t think being out of the workforce for 2 years or so is feasible. Will I pursue my masters in education? Definitely. Eventually. But for the foreseeable future, it’s on hold.

Sometimes, life throws you curve balls. And you have to be prepared to make tough decisions that are ultimately the right ones for YOU and you alone. Unless you’re married. Then you’ve gotta think about the team. But that? Is precisely what I did. I knew it as soon as I told my dad today that I was putting school on hold, that I was happy with my job, that it was exciting and fun and I really want to see where I can go with it.

And where can I go with it? Well, that’s yet to be determined but I have a feeling it’s going to be a bit of a whirlwind in the very best way.

Ever change your mind on something you thought you wanted really, really badly? How’d it turn out??

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Tagged as: careers, CT, job search, life, quarter life crisis

  • http://outoftexas.tumblr.com Mary

    I was absolutely convinced throughout the first part of college that all I really wanted out of life was to go to graduate school, get a PhD in history, and become a professor.

    Suffice it to say, I did not apply to graduate school, I don’t really want to go anymore, and I’d really rather not become an academic. :)

    My parents thought that I was wussing out, or that it was just an excuse because I was afraid. But seriously – the thought of applying to graduate school scared the pants off me. If the mere thought of just applying was that terrifying, I decided that my gut must be screaming at me that it was not a good idea.

    I’ve been out of college three years now, and the more time I spend away from school, the more I realize that I did absolutely the right thing. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it. I don’t think I would have been especially good at it. But most importantly, if I had a chance to go back and do it again, I would make exactly the same choice. It’s just not something I want to do anymore.

    Aside from that, my fiance is getting a PhD in history and will become an academic – and frankly, two history professors in one marriage is one too many. :) He wants it more, and he’s a lot more suited to the lifestyle and the profession.

    I’m not really done with this story, though, since I haven’t really figured out what I want to do instead. I’ve thought about Library Science, and I’ve thought about potentially pursuing a career in human resources. Any and all of that is necessarily on hold for the moment, though, because of where I live and because we know we’ll be moving somewhere else in a year or so. But I think I’m a lot happier now than I would have been if I hadn’t changed my mind four years ago. :)

  • http://somethinggoodineverythingisee.blogspot.com/ Ana from far away

    I wish you the best of luck with your teaching dream! You should never stop trying, maybe one of these days you will receive an unexpected surprise! I recently received a phone call, more that a year after submitting my application.

  • http://mjkfamily.blogspot.com/ Melissa

    In all honesty, you’re better off not subbing right now. There’s 2.5 months left of school for most places and it’s really just not worth it! You seem really happy with your new job and the way things are going, so I think you’re making the right decision.

  • http://allywrites.com Ally

    Oh yes. I have thought many times that I wanted something and later found out it was not for me. Enter massage school. Enter finishing a B.A. just because I thought it was the right thing to do. I don’t regret these things (at least a B.A. is never a bad thing to have), but if I knew then what I know now I would have made different decisions. But c’est la vie. :)

  • http://bellerenee.wordpress.com Renee

    Last summer I had the same dream: go back to school to become a history/government teacher. Then I decided grad school. So I guess we’ll see how this turns out….

  • http://nifermusings.blogspot.com Jen

    Every day! Since junior year of high school, I wanted to be a reporter… up until about two years ago when I finally faced the reality that I just wasn’t that into it anymore. I still freelance for a newspaper, and that is just fine; I don’t want to report full-time.

    You’re right: sometimes life throws you curve balls, and you just make the best of it. You choose the best path for you, and you stand by yourself. So, good for you for doing just that!

  • http://www.gooseberried.com Gooseberried

    Oh, definitely. My first job out of college, I worked for a large grocery store chain. Not bagging or checking or anything actually in-store. I worked what they called it to be “backstage”. I was an Executive Assistant for one of the district managers in Arizona. It was while I had this job that I learned about Human Resources. Being such a large company, HR took up quite a large department and I worked directly with two HR representatives for our district. I loved helping them with their HR tasks and I was good at it! Bonus! So, I decided I wanted to get into HR.

    Sometimes I still do. But since then, I’ve been offered two HR jobs and laid-off from both. So, I’ve sort of given up for now and am pursuing those really highly regarded dreams like photography and yoga. Now, when I look at my life in the future, I see myself owning my own yoga studio.

    But who knows? That could change too. :)

  • http://h0tmess.net Jennifer

    I think you made the right decision staying where you are. Sometimes we want something so bad, that the pursuit of it actually lands us where we were supposed to be – somewhere that we love even more!

  • http://www.passthewineitswednesday.com Blush

    Wow, that’s a tough one. I think a lot of people who really wanted to/ought to be teachers had to change plans because others who don’t want to be/shouldn’t be teachers are still in the system.

    I never, ever wanted to leave Florida…I’d lived there my whole life and was 100% sure that I’d be raising my children in a big house with a big yard in the same town I was raised in, the same town my grandmother was raised in. Until my husband got a job in Connecticut. Suddenly I’m living in a townhouse with my husband and dog in small-ish town CT with absolutely no chance of moving back to FL. It’s taking some doing, but I’m finally starting to enjoy it. Ideas about what your life should be change all the time. Usually for the better…sounds like this is one of those cases for you. Enjoy it!

  • http://itsblogworthy.blogspot.com Amanda

    I’ve changed my mind on LOTS of things. One of those was actually teaching. I wanted to be a teacher as long as I could remember. I used to play “school” during summers, that’s how much I loved it. But I had my first few edu classes in college and realized that I didn’t like it after all. So I went from teaching to broadcast journalism, to print journalism, to PR. And just when I thought I was going to be a regular ol PR person, I got into Web editing and social media and all that fun stuff. So it’s been a progression.

    There have been times when my relationships have changed too, but you know, it’s always for the best and what is supposed to happen in your life. There is aplan! Good luck with your new path.

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