Recently, I signed up for formspring. You know, that incredibly random site that lets readers ask the user questions? Yeah, that one.
Up until today I was letting anonymous peeps ask me questions but I’ve gotta say, I reached my limit. No more anonymous questions.
I mean, there are some bloggers who get a lot more flack and criticism than me. But asking me questions like what we did with our wedding money and if we’ve paid off our credit cards yet is just way more personal than I’m going to go into.
You see, I have limits. Well, more than limits, I have certain topics that are off-limits.
Back in my livejournaling days, not much was off limits. I’ve never written about my sex life, because I don’t believe it’s appropriate to do so (however, I do have a certain admiration for bloggers who have no shame and talk about that kind of stuff openly, I just couldn’t do it) but aside from that, pretty much anything was game. Bitching about my boyfriend? Sure! Trash talking classes, no problem! My livejournal, because of my openness, caused a lot of riffs between the Ex and I. He didn’t appreciate my love of community and being open and journaling as I saw it.
So when I started my blog in 2007, per the suggestion of Hubs, I vowed there were certain things I wouldn’t do here.
I wouldn’t talk about sex, money or family. I wouldn’t write about arguments I had with friends, Hubs (then Boyfriend), or family. I wouldn’t put anything up here, that, as a wise person said, I wouldn’t want on the cover of the NY Times. Because of NU’s early status on Facebook and the integration with coop and potential employers looking at profiles, I have few things up there that I’m ashamed of (23rd birthday party pictures aside, even then pictures of me aren’t tagged). I use security features, and I use them well, including keeping family away from my blog address because, while I wouldn’t care if they read it, I’d prefer if they didn’t.
Hubs doesn’t read my blog religiously, he gives me “my space” as he said, but I wouldn’t write anything in here that would piss him off, start a fight or blog about how I’m feeling without first telling him (one mistake I learned from the Ex, it’s bad if he learns something about me from my blog, without hearing it from me first).
However, it’s still my corner of the internet and I’ll use it how I see fit.
So getting the question on formspring:
“Have you paid your credit cards off yet? What did you do with the wedding money?”
Left me a little aghast. It’s too personal. I’m not going to answer it, not there at least. Short answers: no. My credit cards aren’t paid off. I had to borrow money from my father to pay bills this month. I’m not getting unemployment because they don’t think me moving is a legit reason to leave a job even though I didn’t leave a job, they fired me. On my honeymoon. Money’s been tight around these corners for the past almost year, don’t think I’m proud of this fact. I would love for my credit cards to be paid off, if anyone has an extra couple grand laying around, I know a few banks would be happy to take it off your hands on my behalf (i kid, I kid).
We didn’t get to use our wedding money. We received a lot of generous gifts and they went, a few, to enjoying our honeymoon, the rest to paying bills so that we didn’t go bankrupt. I’m completely serious about this too. Hubs got his job right before we officially ran out of money. While we didn’t go into debt to pay for the wedding, we depleted our savings, retirement funds and then some. Then he lost his job and things were really difficult and stressful and left us both wondering how the FUCK we go to this point (pardon my french but I think it’s legit here). But there are people out there going through much worse than what we are. Imagine this – you and your fiance losing your jobs within 6 months of your wedding, and having thousands of dollars in medical bills, or losing your car and home. Things can always be worse and so I’m immensely thankful for what we have and the families we have who are so supportive of the decisions we’ve made.
We haven’t lost anything yet, we have our health, we pay our bills, and that’s the best we can hope for. I’m applying to jobs, so while I hear from my mother on a regular basis that I should just take any job, I really hope my fabulous readers can understand why I don’t want just “any” job. Especially not after the “abuse” I endured from former employers in DC (I use abuse lightly though I certainly left with an incredibly bruised ego and damaged self-confidence at best). I’m working towards a career, I’m starting classes in May towards this goal, and while yes, I kick myself every god damned day in regards to decisions I made in college, everything I’ve done, and every decision I’ve made has gotten me to where I am. And while I can see myself being wealthier, I certainly wouldn’t be nearly as happy.
But I’m done now, no more talk about money. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not a happy subject for us/me, it’s a matter of stress. I blog to destress. I hope you, as my readers, can respect that. Any further questions on this matter will likely be unacknowledged and left un-answered and/or deleted.
What topics are off-limits for you?
