Last night I went into the city for a Women in Social Media event. I learned…a little, because a lot of what the panelists said I had heard before at BlogHer and other similar events, but I was inspired. Women who started blogs to just write and share their lives, or businesses to be successful and share their information and knowledge with other women, are now these blogging icons essentially, which gives me hope that someday perhaps I can make something big out of this little blog.
All I’ve ever really wanted to do with my life is make a difference. You see, I majored in Political Science to do something good. In my internship in Senator Kennedy’s office, I got to work on immigration cases, and see all the red tape first hand. And sure, there are a lot of skeevy, power mongering politicians out there, but the work I saw in Kennedy’s office inspired me to do more. I saw the good side of politics, granted I was just an intern who wrote letters but I wrote letters on behalf of the Senator to consulates and embassies, lobbying for various immigration cases to be considered. I wrote letters to people better explaining the process. I felt like the work I was doing was good.
And perhaps, despite the oft superficial topics (materialistic mondays? I need to bring them back!), this blog can do something good. I feel like I’ve been super debbie downer – struggling with my career mostly and what the hell happens if this all doesn’t work out. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with some awful decisions I made in my early twenties, and coming up with a plan B. The possibility of failure is absolutely frightening. I already feel like a failure. I moved to DC to make something of myself and I did nothing. I had three awful jobs that jaded me and made me more cynical than I’ve ever been. I had bosses who belittled me, made me cry and question my own self worth. I came out of DC broken. Deciding to teach and move to CT to change our life – hubs and I – was a big leap of faith. But now it’s kind of like, shit, what if teaching doesn’t work out. What if I just…can’t do it. I need a plan B.
Plan B? I already know is writing. Novels. Freelance. I should be doing this more now, because the best way to become a better writer, obviously is writing. Writing here, here, here and here. Write. Teach. Both are equally worthy to me (and I wrote a 5 page summary of my novel. I need to get crackin!) and both would be equally as satisfying in my opinion. I just want to do something that makes me happy, where I feel like I’m doing something good. I didn’t find that in DC, but I’m certain that at some point I will.
How did you fall into your job/career? Are you happy with what you’re doing?
