I keep wanting to write a specific post. A post that’s not necessarily happy, not unhappy per se but not happy.
More me. Battling life, career choices, choices from seven years ago biting me in the butt now.
But I’m trying to be positive. I’ve sent cold emails to various history departments at various private schools in the area expressing interest and seeking advice. I’ve found programs to apply to. I’m applying to TFA. I’m going to go somewhere. I’m going to teach. I’m doing all I can but it just seems so far away….
In the meantime though? I’m kind of like…
….
just like that. ….
what now? What do I do while i wait? I could continue to pursue freelance opportunities. I could maybe do some website stuff, but I only know basic website stuff so that doesn’t really get me far. I could get a part-time job, but the one I applied to called me for an interview, I called back and never heard back from them! What gives?!
So I’m in a holding pattern. Still battling Virginia for back unemployment. I’m still battling my inner laziness demons. God do I feel lazy and sedentary and I can’t stand to see myself in a mirror. Last week at the clinic when I went to pick up new birth control I got weighed and was not happy. The most I’ve ever weighed. Ever. I’m so ashamed and disgusted.
But I’m trying to be positive. I don’t want to burden anyone. But gah, I just feel myself sinking into this pit and each day it feels like a struggle to get out.
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Right? I’ll find something, some position, a job teaching eventually, and I’ll be happy and successful and everything will be how it should be right?
I just…want someone to tell me that it will all work out. *sigh*
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Don’t worry, it WILL all work out. It just takes awhile to adjust. This isn’t the same situation, but my husband lost his job in June, and it took us a few months to figure out a new routine. It takes time! Just keep searching and being active during the day
It will all be okay. I went through this in 2007-2008, when Patrick was employed and I was not. I thought nothing was ever going to be fixed, and I was forever going to be sitting with Horatio on our couch watching Maury for eternity. And then one day it fixed itself. Poof, just like that. Trust your gut. You’re going to be just fine. And I agree with the girl up there… this is a big period of adjustment. Don’t point the finger at yourself when you’re just coming off of a huge move in a bad economy.
It will all work out. I’ve had the same sorts of feelings in the past before starting law school, and have learned that the good things are really worth waiting for. Also-those ‘mistakes’ from 7 years ago are a good learning experience. (I made similar sorts of mistakes in undergrad that I am still bitter about). Being unemployed is hard though-it makes you feel like you’re not contributing to society.
Maybe you can apply to some jobs that might be hiring for the holidays? (like retail stores where you might get a discount).
I have a friend that graduated from law school last February and is still looking for a job–she recently took a job at Target. Because she was feeling the same way-and they desperately needed the money. So you should not feel like it’s you-the economy is tough, and everyone is struggling.
I know how frustrating life can be especially the job hunt. When I graduated college I knew exactly what I wanted to do (medical device sales). I must have gone on at least 30 interviews. Finally I took a sales job selling something I wasnt passionate about, but I can happily report that after 4 years, at least 30 we like you but you werent right interviews, many nights of tears, beers, and chocolate I am working my dream job. I have been doing it for 4 months and I am kickin butt and takin names.
The moral….stick with it. When you have your sights set on what you want it will happen and you will be happy as can be
R
I feel the same way! I’ve been looking since August and there are good days and bad days. I’m working retail part-time and its no fun. I keep trying to remember that the right job will come along and things will happen, eventually. Plus, I’ve still got a roof over my head and a supportive family. Hang in there.
For what it’s worth, it will work out. I dont’ know how or when but it always does…. good things happen to good people, just remember that
xo
Don’t feel bad. You don’t always have to be positive. Sometimes it’s good to face those negative feelings so you know what you’re dealing with. You’ll figure something out though. You always do.