Tomorrow night, I get to see some of my best pals from college.
College, better known as the years I grew into myself. Up until then, while I claimed “social butterfly” status, the truth is, I look back on myself and see more social awkwardness. Also known as, trying too hard. Like, really hard.
I never went to a party in high school, I didn’t date anyone at my high school, and my hair? Well. It never fell perfectly into place. At least, I wasn’t a cheerleader…they had skittles thrown at them at games.
Welcome to college. Post 9/11 in Boston. I immediately, fell into a relationship (bad), thinking, always thinking, that I needed a “man” (though I’d hardly classify the “guys” I dated in college as “men”). I was shy. Painfully shy. So shy I spent too many nights those first few months crying in my dark room out of loneliness in front of my computer screen.
As the years went on, I got more involved – RSA, SGA, College Dems, pep band, you name it.
I made friends. Genuine, actually-give-a-damn-about-you friends. Friends that I am so flippin’ excited to see tomorrow night as four of us (two of them weren’t really my pals but were roommates of one of my best gal pals) make our way back to Beantown for a weekend of debauchery I’m certain for very, very different reasons.
But, I realized, not only as I got the facebook invite about this weekend but also after blogher. At some point in my life, I need to stop questioning what people REALLY think of me, and wondering if they’re talking shit about me behind my back like so many so-called friends did as I grew up. At some point, we grow out of that gut wrenching paranoia and given that I’m 27 and about to get hitched and be a missus, I should grow out of it.
I didn’t do that once this weekend. I didn’t question the fabulous bloggers, because you know what? Thats the great thing about blogging, you don’t have to pretend to like someone. If I don’t like someone’s blog? I don’t have to read it. If you don’t give a crap about what I say here or about me? Unsubscribe by all means! But the bloggers that I met this past weekend were friends/readers who I genuinely gave a crap about. That I’ve emailed with and cried for, and rejoiced with and been ecstatic for. The events that have happened to all of us that have been shared here and around the blogosphere (sans that one blogger who faked everything…) is genuine and real and those people that I got absolutely wrecked with Saturday night? They were real too and I love them all like I had known them for years.
The BlogHer 09 crowd!
Some quality college pals. Including two of my bridesmaids on the right.
I think, and correct me if I’m wrong, as we get older, we start appreciating people who don’t give or tolerate bullshit. And I’m not gonna lie, I’m definitely one of those people. I learned that more so after BlogHer. No drama, no bullshit, no fighting, no anything that might make me want to throw things.
Tomorrow night, and Saturday night, as I party with some people who have seen me through my very best and definitely my very worst of times, I’ll have more appreciation for people who know you almost too well. People who don’t put up with your crap and vice versa. But most of all, low maintenance, there for you no matter what friends.
Even the most socially awkward gal – former or not – can appreciate that.
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