I wouldn’t call it giving up. It’s more that our best isn’t good enough anymore. We gave her our best but our best wasn’t good enough.
You see, back in March when we brought the little furball home, we both stipulated that if things didn’t work out with her and Ellie that we’d reconsider.
Then I got laid off. And while working from home has been a blessing, and has saved us a lot of money, at the same time, it’s caused me a lot of stress.
We’ve tried to train her. We’ve tried to housetrain her. We’ve tried.
But we’ve tried ourselves into more debt and near bankruptcy. We’ve tried ourselves into a home that looks like crap, with ripped carpet, ripped cushions that furball won’t stop chewing on no matter how many times we replace it with a bone and tell her no.
No means “more” to her. “Off” means jump higher. “No bites” means “more bites.”
I’ve tried. I can’t…try anymore.
Our apartment is too small for the four of us, and while Ellie has adjusted, Molly well…she’s got boatloads of puppy energy and needs more. She needs more attention, more training, and more space. You see, Ellie’s well adjusted because we dropped thousands into her training. Unfortunately, we don’t have the resources to do that with Molly.
Did I mention we’re not supposed to have more than one pet in our coop? Keeping her means lots of sneaking so that the management across the street doesn’t see us. If they do? “Oh we’re dog sitting….”
So we’re giving her away. Contractually we are obligated to give her back to the rescue organization we got her from, so they’ve been emailed, and worst case we’ll call them tomorrow. We’ve cleared her skin mites, given her a good home, gotten her up to date on her shots. We’ve started training her. But things just aren’t progressing the way we want. Something’s gotta give…and unfortunately, if financial and space constraints weren’t an issue, things would be completely different.
I’ve spent the morning crying. I feel like a failure. Like I’m letting her down. Much like I felt when at 13, my parents gave my childhood dog back to the shelter we got her from because with dad travelling and mom and I’s future uncertain, she was too much to deal with.
“What ever you do, don’t be a crybaby.” My sister told me as we drove up.
We brought her in. Signed her over. And then I cried. Like the cry baby I was.
And now, it’s the same thing all over again. As I write this, I wonder how I’ll hold up if we bring her to the adoption event this weekend. Will I cry? Or should I have Adam go without me? After all, how will it look when I’m standing there holding her leash sobbing. He’s stronger than I am. He never attached to Molly the way he did to Ellie, and he’s never been through this before.
A girl I once knew commented on my facebook status:
dogs are a part of your family. you wouldn’t give your sister back to the hospital because you lost your job. you should def. keep your dog.”
While she raises a point, things happen. It’s not ideal. But it’s the best thing for everyone. Unfortunately, it’s not cut and dry, there are lots of things to consider, and at some point, yes we are being a little selfish. But me losing my job? Had I known a week earlier that I was going to lose my job, we wouldn’t have gotten her.
I know that we’re doing the right thing. I know that she deserves much better than we can give her. But it still breaks my heart to feel like I failed her. I haven’t stopped crying since this morning and I’m pretty sure there’s not an end in sight…
Anyone want to give a good pup a good home??? (careful, she loves Old Navy flip flops)
(Note: Ellie ripped up that linoleum. Not Molly.)
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I can’t imagine how heartbreaking this must be for you. Admittedly, my first instinct was the same as your facebook commenter. But after thinking of it some more I realized that Molly deserves to find a home that suits her best.
Good luck with everything.
It’s okay! It sounds like you’ve done all you can. If there’s a better place that fits her better, than you can’t feel guilty about trying to provide that. In the end, you guys have to do what’s best for you, so don’t get too hard on yourself, okay?
Oh honey, I’m so sorry! I know that is SO heartbreaking. You guys tried your best given the circumstances. Every dog is different, and she just didn’t work out. She’s adorable and will find a good home.
I’m so sorry that y’all are in this situation. Instead of looking at it as failing her, I think you should focus on the fact that you gave her a good, loving home, you took her to the vet and helped make her healthy, happy pup.
I know it’s not an easy thing to do, but it will be OK. And y’all have started Molly on a fantastic path that will only get better when she’s adopted.
Do not think of this as a failure at all, you have so much going on in your life that was unexpected and you did the best for her–you gave her a good home and love and attention. And instead of making things possibly harder on her, as for on yourself, you’re giving her a chance to go to another good home that can take care of her the way she needs to be taken care of.
It is so heartbreaking though to let go of a loved pet, I know how you feel. Stay strong and know that she’ll go to a home that will love her just as much as you do.
Oh, hon, I am so sorry. But you have given her a GREAT start- she should be easy to find a loving home that can give her that little bit more she needs!
(And maybe if you WERE crying at the adoption event, everyone would realize how amazing she is and want to snatch her up…)
Best of luck. You didn’t fail… you gave her an amazing beginning.
Hi,
I’ve been a silent reader all along ( greetings from Singapore, by the way) but decided to finally comment as it’s a topic that I can relate to.
Just 2 mths back, my boyfriend found an abandoned puppy and out of fear that the SPCA might put him to sleep, we thus decided to foster him for a period of time. At the same time, we thought of posting ads on forums/internet to search for suitable families to adopt him. Alas, we soon fell heads over heels over him and were very tempted to adopt him. However, there were some factors that deter us. Likewise, neither of us were working at that time ( i just graduated from uni) so finances were tight. Moreover, it was the first time that we’re having a puppy so Archie pretty much drove us nuts every day with his constant chewing, nipping, barking, etc. In fact, we ended up having more arguments because of the puppy.
There were many times whereby I felt like giving up and finding him an experienced home who can provide him with more guidance. However, the bond and love we have for Archie was just too powerful and so, we stay determined and now 2 mths later, he’s really affectionate and well-behaved at home ( it’s a different story when he’s outdoors though). We can’t imagine life without Archie now, he’s our boy and faithful companion.
Sorry to have kept ranting on. In any case, I just want you to know that I know it’s tough to have to make a decision like this. As much as it hurts dog owners to have to give up on their pets, sometimes we know that it’s better for the dog. I hope things work out well for you and Molly and that she gets adopted into a loving home soon.
And remember, you guys made her feel what’s love at the beginning 
Don’t consider it giving up… just think that you gave her a good foster home and prepared her for the next journey in her life. You’re right that if you can’t take care of her, she deserves somewhere else. But it’s still sad. Sorry.
Hello.. you are NOT being selfish. You are doing what is best for both you.
I know that you’ve heard this a lot this weekend but if you need anything let me know. I know I am far away, but I care
I am so sorry that you are having to go through such a rough situation. You should not feel guilty and that girl had no right to tell you what you should do with Molly, she is not in your situation. I feel for you and wish I could give you a big hug.