I’ve never claimed to be a big fan of babies. I find that 9 times out of 10 I’m awkward and hate the sound of the gooing and gagaing that usually takes place when babies are around. I’m generally weird around them and can’t find the whole appeal of them.
Given that in the past 8 years, three of my cousins have started the next generation of babies in my family, I’ve had my fair share of babies despite my not being around much. A part of me wishes I was around more so that they recognized me (they don’t…really.) and a part of me wants to be around when I have kids so that my kids have the same experiences with my grandparents that the other great grandchildren do.
Thursday at the gym, I got kicked over to babysitting since they were short. So I spent two hours hanging around with a bunch toddlers and a very disgruntled babysitter. The babies? ADORABLE.
But when a screaming baby found a home on my lap and I soothed her to sleep, my maternal instinct nudged me. Later, a coworker who recently had a baby stopped by and the sleeping boy was absolutely adorable – not to mention she in no way looked like she had given birth only eleven days ago. “You’re going to be a great mother some day Heidi” they told me. I just smiled, no one had ever said that to me so I wasn’t quite sure how to react.
Seeing my coworker’s baby, curled up and sleeping making those adorable baby faces in his sleep, further increased the maternal instinct gear.
I later told Fiance (who may be making a guest appearance tomorrow!) how it kicked in and though we had talked about kids before, and how we both wanted them, I don’t think I’ve ever NOT been been frightened by the prospect of motherhood but yesterday was a drastic change of heart. I found myself looking forward to the day when I get to drive around a Bugaboo Stroller, dress my baby in cute sundresses with even cuter hats (ZOMG!) with adorable sayings like “I’m Tweet” (coupled with a picture of a bird. OMG TEH CUTENESS).
I could be good at the whole mommy blogger thing someday. I mean really, every kid does cute stuff no? It just takes a talented blogger to be able to write about it and not be obscenely annoying (no offense to mommy bloggers some of you are just…too much).
So one day I too will be waking up every hour on the hour to pee while I’m pregnant, one day I too will drop my kids off at the local gym’s daycare while I work off the post-baby fat, and one day? I will proud to be a mom, and ready.
But today? Not that day.Definitely. Not. That. Day.
When did you realize you wanted to have kids or didn’t want them?
