Once upon a time, a high school boyfriend’s parents didn’t like me because I didn’t say thank you one time. Unfortunately, for as much of a stickler I am about manners these days and proper ettiquette, I can’t say I got those habits from my parents. After that judgment, I made it a point to always say thank you and with fiance’s family, I try to pick up a bottle of wine or something for his parents to show my grattitude and help out in whatever way I can, whether it’s helping prepare meals or simply setting the table at dinner. A little bit, in being a guest, goes a long way or so I have learned.
Thus, why tonight was so much of a downer for me. You see, big sister has been with us since Monday evening. I cooked three nights, we went out last night for cheap wings and good beer (though her and her bf weren’t so much in tune with cheap beer since they don’t drink) then tonight we went to Jaleo for tapas and sangria – they weren’t having that either “we want food that we know. I can’t even pronounce this stuff” she told me. So they left, ended up at Finns (where they seemed to be insanely bored last night because they’re not really bar people) and when we got home at 11p were already in bed.
!!!!
I was beyond frustrated. I just wanted a relaxing friday out. I know it’s her last night but I had hoped that once, maybe thursday night they would have taken fiance and I out. That would have been nice and very much appreciated on us. Considering I’ve worked all day, came home, cooked, and then entertained – taking them out on a tour of the monuments at night, and being so exhausted the next day that i nearly fell asleep. Sorry, you’re on vacation and you’re whining to me about being tired why? Our friends invited us, and my guests out tonight, and well…they just kind of sat there. So for the 25 minutes till fiance got there, I had to entertain them..
“do you want something to drink?”
“I’ll take a soda”
“Okay…so…why don’t you go get one?”
“You’re not going to get it for me??”
“um….no. You’re 28. You’re a big girl.”
I wanted to scream and shake her and say WHERE THE HELL ARE YOUR MANNERS! WHERE IS YOUR DISCRETION! WHY AREN’T YOU ACTING LIKE AN ADULT HERE?!?!?! Not to mention, when i told her where we were going, she said “Oh…is it free?” “no…it’s not. why would it be?” She chuckled a little bit and shrugged. Nothing in this world is free sugarbaby.
I know, I know, she’s family. But you see, my sister and I have never been…on the close side. She’s four years older than I and well….I love her dearly but we’re….vastly different in values, and beliefs. And of course everything else down to the types of shoes and clothes we wear.
“House guests, like fish, stink after three days” – Benjamin Franklin
Truer words have never been spoken. You see, I like to think I’ve been a good hostess, I went out of my way to print out maps, be sure to list out things for them to do when I was at work since I don’t have a lot of vacation time lasting me the rest of the year, and gave them directions, costs, set up a Capitol and White House tour and made a general visitors packet including giving them a key to the house. I cooked for them for three nights (while somehow fitting in a 3 mile training run in on Tuesday and missing my run last night), and managed to give up my living room when they were here and my bedroom when we were all out for puppy proofing purposes. When i get home from work and want to change my clothes but can’t walk in my bedroom? That’s kind of a problem for me…
What have I gotten in thanks? No thank you. No nothing. Just a lot of “well I want to do this…” or “…I don’t like that…” or “I’m tired…” or “I’m bored…” Incredibly…frustrating to say the least. So I decided to do some research on what makes a good house guest. Real Simple gives some rules to ensure that you’ll be invited back as a good house guest, Pam from BlogHer tells us how to be a good house guest as well. Peggy Post has good advice, such as how to thank the hosts, and what to do with the bed linens – I never know so I usually do as she suggests, fold them all up at the end of the bed. Finally, apartment therapy tells us, with some tips from WikiHow, how to be a good houseguest also including but not limited to:
- Arrive when you say you will arrive.
- Don’t overstay your visit. Bring a gift to say thank you at the outset.
- Keep your guest area neat.
- Be reasonable about sharing a household bathroom.
- Don’t keep the hosts up late.
- Offer to make contributions.
- Entertain yourself.
- Leave a thank you gift on your departure
- Unfortunately, I don’t think that my sister did any of that.
But at this point….there’s not much I can do. It’s a bit late to tell her to take care of herself since the week is over (Thank Jebus) I’m sure they’ll be on the road early tomorrow. But whatever, despite my feelings of being taken advantage of hospitably, I did get her to go dress shopping with me, even though she dragged her boyfriend along.
Blah. Thank god this week is over.
Have you ever had a bad houseguest experience??? If so what did you do to remedy it?
