Hello, internets! It’s me, Megan, from Tea and Cake Time. If you’re a fan of occasional food porn, SNL recaps, and much complaining about various and sundry topics (and use of phrases like “various and sundry”), you should come on by. I’m fun, I promise. But that’s not why I’m here–I’m here to fill in while Miss Heidi is taking Boston by storm. Since her guest post for me in April was her Very First Guest Post, I feel like I have to admit…it’s my first time, too! Now that you know this, I can proceed to tell you about some other firsts…
My First Favorite TV Show…was probably Sesame Street. Probably a very “typical” little-kid show for a four-year-old to be excited about, but I swear to you, I loved Sesame Street something fierce. An early consumer (or at least whiner until my parents acquiesced to my wishes), I had to have everything to do with Big Bird, Snuffy, and even that damned Oscar the Grouch. I had all manner of plush, “school supplies” (I was a young nerd, too), and even a makeshift clubhouse that we erected in my playroom in the Good Old Days before my brother was born…where I proceeded to stash all my goodies. The pinnacle of this young fan-dom was a trip to Sesame Street Live!, the only part of which I can still clearly remember was the bucket of cotton candy that I enjoyed while waving my felted Big Bird sign and watching the strobe lights and ice dancing that blew my young mind.
My First Best Friend…was a girl named Jayme, who has disappeared into the ether of friends who now live Quite Far Away. While many good times involving swimming lessons, dress-up, and gymnastics and dance classes were had, there is one sleepover in particular that comes to mind, likely because it was also my first exposure to Cool Stuff That Teenagers Did (note: it was probably around 1988-90, when I was between 5 and 7 years old, so we really had no idea how truly lame it was to be a teenager). Having satisfied our movie hunger with a viewing of Mannequin (which I will maintain is a freaking awesome movie, and love Hollywood Montrose more every time I see it), we began flipping through the channels, landing on the at-the-time forbidden MTV. Whether our parents were just convinced that it was Too Old or Too Cool for us, I’m not sure, but I do remember being completely mesmerized by a video for “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Oh, the gyrating! Oh, the racial stereotyping! Oh, Belinda Carlisle! I had no idea what was going on, but I couldn’t peel my eyes or ears away from that television screen (sorry, that is a gross visual)– I had been Smitten By MTV.
My First Boyfriend…was named Anthony. Technically, I refer to him as Anthony One, because there was another same-named boyfriend a couple years later, but at the time that we were in the “relationship,” he was the Only One. Anthony really set the bar low for the guys who would soon follow him– he was a great example of How to Be a Crap-ass Young Teen Boyfriend (friends, we were fourteen– forgive me). Here is a short list of what should have been Big, Fat Red Flags: he was much, much dumber than I am/was (this sounds mean, but the guy was an idiot. I guess I liked being in charge?), he got kicked out of our middle school for smoking pot on campus (the worst part is that his mom, upon finding this out, just told him not to do it at school anymore), and he liked (as in, really enjoyed) the Insane Clown Posse, a startlingly white-supremacist, sexist, sociopathic musical group. We broke up when I realized how lame he was, and then proceeded to break up at least three more times after that due to his staggering idiocy and my lack of skill at breaking up with people. I have gotten better at that, though, and I suspect he may be incarcerated at present. All I know is that his ass isn’t on Facebook, and for that I am eternally grateful.
My First Drink…was, not shockingly, before I turned 21. Perhaps a little more shockingly, it was not Some Crazy Night with New College Friends. I was in my freshman year of college, and was spending a weekend in nearby Hermosa Beach with my aunt and uncle. With my uncle gone at a Rush concert (I can’t explain this, he is a strange guy sometimes), my aunt and I decided that a Girls’ Night In, complete with a viewing of Moulin Rouge and some vanilla Coke and Vanilla vodka was in order. Vanilla vodka was definitely my downfall freshman year, and I couldn’t stay away. Drink after drink, coupled with the whirling colors on the screen as Ewan MacGregor seduced Nicole Kidman (or was it vice versa?), ensured that midway through the movie, I was Praying to the Porcelain God in their guest bathroom. It was decided that I should probably stay that night, too, and that we wouldn’t tell my uncle. Probably the best call…and the next morning, I got to experience My Very First Hangover, too. Could’ve done without that one.
My First Male Roommate…is my boyfriend, GP. He just graduated from SJSU with his master’s, and even though he thinks it’s silly for me to be proud of him, I am. I think it’s pretty great that he is Done Forever with school, while I still have yet to begin library school (this fall, yay!). I also think it’s pretty great that he takes care of the Man Chores that I don’t care to do, including spider-killing, garbage-taking-out, and heavy-thing lifting. Unless you are yourself a dude (and maybe even if you are!), I highly recommend getting a Male Roommate. As long as you can train him to use coasters and put down the seat (obvious, but very traumatic to fall into a toilet at 3am!), it’s a wise investment.
What are some of your firsts, friends?
