Facebook, I am convinced, is a double edged sword. For the inner stalkers of all of us, we stalk old flames, old classmates, old friends that we lost touch with and potential new friends.
This morning, after checking my failing NCAA bracket, I checked out the feed on the front page. Wait who’s a mom?! I immediate clicked over to the profile of a girl I once went to high school with, whom I’d slack off during track practice with, who I thought was quite possibly one of the nicest girls ever. She’s married. And a mom. Congrats!
But seeing all these ladies I once acquainted myself with makes me miss my small town roots. It makes me regret not really have any connections to my high school class. I transferred to my high school sophomore year, made a few frenemies quickly and tried to recover until the day I graduated. I wouldn’t really call any of them “friends” in the traditional sense. I wish they had been. I was too…aloof. Too shy. I’ve never been good at that first step as far as meeting people. All of my current friends were easy to meet – L was my secret santa in SGA a couple years ago and we bonded by hanging out with N after I got back from DC, PBM i was in pep band with freshman and sophomore year – he introduced me to T, S, and M. The ex I met and became friends with through my best gay friend – J who was my infamous LJ stalker freshman year of college. Norbs and JF and I became friends because we all stood together at hockey games and I knew JF’s now fiancee R. It all happened so easier – of course asking pals to go out for a brewski after a hockey game is a helluva lot easier than asking someone that you’ve never met to dinner or happy hour.
When did making friends become so hard?
I digress…back to the matter at hand. I guess, seeing all my high school classmates get married and engaged and have babies over facebook makes me feel a little lost…a little left out which is traditional. A couple weeks ago I was actually contacted through classmates.com which i signed up oh so randomly a few years back, by a girl who for much of my tenure at CHS made my life hell. I know that things change, I know that people grow up and we’re not the same snarky, pretentious 17 and 18 year olds we once were.
I remember on a trip home senior year I ran into a couple guys who were in my class traveling home for the holidays via Greyhound up to Burlington from Boston. God that trip always sucked but Greyhound was really the easiest and most affordable way to get home. I tried to catch up, say hello – did I mention I loathe small talk? Well I do – anyhow, they were cold. Icy. It reminded me of the snarkiness that I had tried to put behind me. I had no need for attitudes. So I brushed it off and stopped trying to be friendly with people, after all, who says people really do change? Clearly some of the same ass holes just grew up to be bigger ass holes.
I do have to mention though, the few times I’ve caught up with people, generally there have been good conversations. One of my classmates follow(ed)(s?) my blog and I feel honored…but it makes me wish thing…well…that I had been different back in my younger days. Maybe less annoying? Maybe less shy? Maybe less of an over achiever? I don’t know.
But I do know facebook makes me feel old. I wish all of my classmates…whoever reads this…that may be engaged/married/parents…all the best in the future and maybe when we have that 5/10 year reunion, may things be worlds different from back in 2001.
What was your high school experience like?
