So I know earlier I had a much more…upbeat and positive post. A post about how I was trying to…re-fall in love with this city. A post about how I longed to be happy here because getting out is seeming harder and harder.
But one too many slow people on the metro escalator pissed me off and made me miss my train today.
what do you mean Heidi…
well…you see…and this is a letter to all the slowpokes, to all the airport goers who stand on the right while putting their luggage on the left…we here in DC, a city of southern efficiency and northern hospitality (or is it the other way around…), like to be in a rush. I mean, I work 9-6 and if I have to work at job number 2 because the damned salaries are so depressed because there’s at least fifty people that would take my job for less than I’m making (ha!), and so a couple days a week I have to work at job number 2 around 7. It takes me 45 minutes – door to door – and so if your ass is slowing me down (I’m looking at you dad with the three kids all wearing matching I <3 DC shirts and fanny packs, and intern bias in high heels going to happy hour from your intern housing at the Hampton…) I have little time to eat. No time to eat makes for a very cranky Heidi.
So here’s some peeves that I found today on the metro…just by going home.
1. there are boundaries people. You might be bigger than me but must you sit on me and make my arms immobile without smacking you?
2. You there with the thirty bags from Pentagon City, it’s rush hour. Move it or lose it.
3. We stand on the right. Walk/run on the left down the escalators. Move it or lose it. If you don’t know left from right, I suggest going back to grammar school.
4. Generally, especially at points of transfer, we let people off the train before we plow on. If i miss my transfer and have to wait 5+ minutes because you couldn’t wait your turn, Ima be pissed dude.
5. Speaking of transfers, move it or lose it on the escalators. We’re all in a rush so you should probably follow #3. Seriously.
6. A specific area of problem? When ya’ll are getting off the green line at L’enfant heading towards Branch Ave/Huntington, seriously if I’m standing against the wall I shouldn’t worry about getting trampled. There is such thing as orderly manner. You should try it some time instead of plowing over innocent standbyers.
This concludes Heidi’s Things I hate about DC (part 1.)
BONUS: finished my taxes tonight, getting a decent amount back from Virginia and the feds but funny how DC made me PAY when i entered in the amount that I paid in student loan interest. Granted it’s only about $20 but still! Come on, I’ve never had to pay, how is it that you can make less than $30k and still have to pay a city that you lived in for three months.
Fuckers. I hate this damn city.
Anything i missed??? What are your pet peeves?
