Comments on: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

By: It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to « Life in Pink

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to « Life in Pink — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:09:59 +0000

[...] call. Just because one learns to call to say they can’t make it? Does not a good friend make. I’ve written about it here. In case you want some background. Not much has really changed since then in case you were [...]

By: Tessa

Tessa — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:25:11 +0000

do not put up with it.

that is a big slap in the face. and you know the other person would feel the same if the shoe was on the other foot.

second chances are useless, people never change.

By: Blonde Features

Blonde Features — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 21:11:07 +0000

So I just went through (well not went through as this has been happening for a lifetime) this almost exact same situation with my all time best friend in the world. We have been friends since 7th grade but she lived in California and I lived in DC. We never got to see each other. As we got older, I would always visit her but she never came to see me or would cancel last min. no calls or anything. In October an incident occured and I finally went off, letting her know how hurtful it was and how furious I was that she never came to see me . It came out that…she wasn’t ditching me because she didnt like me, she was intimidated by my friends and me (she hadnt met them, but she didnt want to). She thought if I really knew her we wouldn’t get along in person. It was really hard hearing that my best friend would ever think I wouldn’t like her if I knew her “in person”. I dont know if this has anythig do with your situation, but it is always better to say something because you never know if a miscommunication may be the cause. SORRY FOR THE LONG COMMENT!!

By: caitlynintherye

caitlynintherye — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:45:40 +0000

My friends always joke that I run on “KT Time”, which is code for always being 15-30 minutes late for everything. I don’t do it intentionally, I just have a really bad sense of time. They know that it’s my issue, and they love me despite my little (and numerous) quirks.
That being said, this seems over the line. It seems downright disrespectful that she’s not even putting in the effort to apologize, let alone let you know she’s not coming. If I were in your Steve Maddens I wouldn’t put up with it. Once in awhile is one thing, every time is a different story. I’d say have a talk with her about it, but make sure that you turn the conversation into I’s and not You’s (“I feel like it is disrespectful” instead of “You are being disrespectful”) Give her a final chance, and see if she makes the effort to change. If not, pull away a bit.

By: michelle and the city

michelle and the city — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 15:09:00 +0000

this is such a frusterating situation. has happened to be with friends on numerous occasions and it sucks. how i usually handle it is sort of like i would a new boyfriend/potential date. stop calling until they show interest again. i’m not going to force a friendship. if you cancel a get together or don’t return phone calls i stop trying. i’m not going to waste effort if you’re not doing the same. and this method usually works. they end up calling a week or so later saying i miss you let’s get together!

By: maria

maria — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 23:29:07 +0000

I hear you, sistah.

Friends can often suck. My advice to you is to take a break. Maybe call her out on it next time you see her, but beyond that, take a break. Let her know that her behavior is unacceptable, but you still want to know her.

If it happens again, forget it. You can’t trust her, and you don’t want that in a friend. Ultimately, it’s more stress you can’t deal with.

By: Susie

Susie — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 22:24:13 +0000

I feel like I’m dealing with this constantly. It’s hard because you don’t want to lose her as a friend but you don’t want to be friends with someone who is so thoughtless. I say you call her out on it, tell her how you feel and that you’re not going to always be here if she treats you this way. You never know..she could just need to hear it from you. And then she may snap out of it and start making more of an effort. Good luck!

By: Julie Q

Julie Q — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 21:18:34 +0000

first off- is that a boston bullet I see in your side column?! holy shnikeys! Alright- the friends situation.. I’ve never been able to blog/vent about it- due to most of my RLF’s reading my blog (but never commenting- go figure). I say just live and learn from it. Know that they are not reliable, but not to cut all ties loose. Because maybe they will surprise you some day- until then- don’t expect too much. And its good to have your boyfriend for support & your dog of course

By: toshspice

toshspice — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 20:22:30 +0000

Sometimes you have to let people go. I had a best friend who was like a sister to me. We went threw not talking to each other for almost two years but it was worth it. We have a better friendship now. People come in your life for a season, reason, or lifetime.

By: Deutlich

Deutlich — Sun, 13 Jan 2008 19:03:21 +0000

Someone I knew for 15 years of my life used to do this ALLLLLLLLLL the time. I definitely don’t think it should be tolerated. At all.

I may be bitter & jaded, though..